


As Safe as a Battlefield

by orphan_account



Category: Fake AH crew - Fandom, Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Fake AH Crew, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Major Character Injury, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Hatred, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-15
Updated: 2016-12-07
Packaged: 2018-08-22 15:07:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8290249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "Let me tell you what I wish I’d knownWhen I was young and dreamed of gloryYou have no control,
Who lives, who dies, who tells your story."





	1. Egotistical Acts of Love

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This is actually a fic that I've been working on for like, 3 years at least. I started it when Ray left but found it too painful to continue at the time. I found it recently, added Jeremy to it, and cleaned it up real quick before deciding to post it! I really hope you guys like this, because this is probably my favorite fic I've written. And dare i say, i think it's the best as well...   
> Anyways, i hope you guys enjoy!   
> ( Also, yes the summary is from Hamilton bc i am Hamil-trash. )

Michael laughed as he threw another grenade out the car window, cheering as another cop car exploded. Ray was right next to him, his pink gun firing out the window, and it seemed that the sniper was incapable of missing his target. 

Geoff drove faster as some cops gained on them, and Michael threw his last C4 out the window, yelling when it landed right on the cops windshield. Within seconds the car exploded, and the trigger happy criminal took in the beautiful sight of flames flickering up into the sky. 

Ray was silent- almost stone-faced as he watched the explosion, rolling up his window as shrapnel hit the car. Geoff just laughed, driving a bit further before pulling the car into a side-street so they could switch vehicles. 

"Are you sure we're safe to get out? Maybe we should rive further away..." Ray suggested, anxiously looking at the window as if he was expected a gunshot to break it. 

"Dude we're fine! We're the Fake AH Crew, no on can touch us. " Michael said carelessly, opening the door and stepping out as if owned all of Los Santos. ( And at this point, he practically did. )  
A laughing Gavin walked up and meet them, smiling as he showed them the new get-away car. Michael looked it over once, making a 420 joke that earned a good amount of laughter from his boys. It was them that he turned to Gav, pulling his boi into a quick hug.

"I'm glad you're safe." Michael whispered. 

"Ditto." Gavin whispered back, breaking away as Geoff stared to make kissy noises. The boys laughed as the opened the doors to the car. All of their minds were on low alert, almost as if they thought they were safe.  
A gunshot shook them all back into reality, and it was suddenly apparent that they were not alone. 

Michael turned around just in time to see the next gunshot f;y directly into Ray's head. The next few minutes seemed as if they were in slow-motion. Michael could see the light leave Ray's eyes. He could see the blood spray out as the boy was knocked of his feet. 

It was silent as his body hit the ground, his mouth slightly open as blood started to pool around his head. 

There were screams of confusion- screams of terror as they all ran for cover, shaking with a new kind of fear they had never felt before. They all waited for another shot- for another one of them to fall over. They were only greeted with silence. 

Michael stood up, looking around at who was left. Everyone but Ray was standing. He glanced over to where the young boy's body lay, vomit rising in his throat as he watched the blood pool.  
He looked and saw Ryan grab the body and pull it into the back the their new getaway vehicle. The man treated it so carefully, acting as if the body was made of policeman.

"Dead." Ryan announced, his voice echoing around the alley.  
Michael slowly started to back away, not wanting to believe that this had happened. He turned around a threw up, tears streaming down his face as the violent images of Ray's death flashed threw his mind. 

A voice in his head screamed at him, filling him with guilt.  
"It's YOUR fault. You said they were safe. You gave false security. If you would've been more careful he would still be alive!"

He shook his head, trying to make the thoughts go away but they refused to leave. Tears fell freely as voices echoed around; flashbacks of his childhood clogged his mind as well.  
It was all full of screams and blood and vomit and Michael hated it. He hated it so much that remembering who he was left a bitter taste in his mouth that he never wanted to experience again. 

Michael turned and ran. He wasn't sure where he was going, but anger kept pushing him forward, leading him farther and farther away from his boys.


	2. 1000 Volts of Anger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of a battle- who will find your broken pieces and put them back together?
> 
> AKA: Michael fails to deal with the pain of losing his friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! So many posts in one day! I guess this is my way of saying 'sorry' for being gone for so long haha.  
> Hope you guys enjoy!

Michael could feel the anger pulsing through his veins, igniting every nerve. In that moment, he felt as if he could break 1,000 bones. Every inch of him felt as if it was on fire. He was burning alive, dying from the anger trapped inside his body. He wanted to scream so loud that buildings would tumble down. 

“THIS ISN’T ME! THIS ISN’T WHAT I WANTED. THIS IS WHAT YOU WANTED. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? YOU’VE RUINED ME.” Michael threw his fist at the closest wall, feeling his hand light up with pain as it made contact with the bricks.He liked the pain that raced through him. So he punched it again, and again. He kept going until he could no longer see the skin on his hands, only blood and bones. Michael felt enraged that it had come to this. The screams echoed off the abandoned buildings that surrounded him. Michael finally fell to his knees, exhausted and defeated. 

“Michael?” He immediately picked his head up and looked over his shoulder to the direction of the voice. A tall, lanky shadow was moving closer. “Gavin?” He exclaimed as the British boy moved out from the safety of the shadows, taking tentative steps towards his boi. “Gavin don’t come any closer, I don’t want to hurt you...” But he kept moving closer, despite the pleas. “Gav, please, I don’t want to-“The bloody lad was cut off by Gavin’s arms wrapping around Michael's waist, his head buried in the crook of my neck. 

Michael wanted to cry, but he didn’t have any emotion left in him, and only a few of tears of regret leaked out of his eyes. Gavin however, had thoroughly soaked the left shoulder of Michael's shirt, finally lifting his head up to reveal red, swollen eyes. 

Michael looked straight into Gav's eyes, and his own became watery. “I’m sorry Gav. I-I don’t know what happ-“ 

“Guys, they’re over here!” Michael looked over Gavin’s shoulder, only to see a group of guys coming towards Gavin and him. “Ryan… I-I’m so sorry. I-I don’t-“Michael started to say as the man crouched down beside the two boys, gently examining the curly-haired boy's knuckles. But he gave me a look that said ‘It’s okay, I know’ and the conversation was over before the other guys arrived. 

“Is he okay?” Michael turned as he heard Geoff’s familiar voice, only this time it was full of worry. 

“Yeah he’s fine... for the most part at least.” Ryan replied, picking Michael up in one swift movement. “We should get him to a Caleb though, there is no way his hands aren’t broken.” Michael tried to avoid eye contact with the others, to upset to allow himself comfort. But they were like bees, and it was impossible to ignore them for long. So he kept up small conversations as Ryan helped him into the car. However, being closer to them only made the Michael want to get away from them even more. 

“You doin’ okay Michael?” he turned his head towards the concerned voice, coming face-to-face with Jeremy. It took him a couple moments to process what had happened today. Nothing about it was okay. 

“No... Not at the moment.” He stared out the window the entire time he said it, watching the dark shadows of trees and shrubs fly by. But Michael could feel Jeremy's eyes burning into the back of his head, and as the moments passed he felt more and more as if he had to escape. It was the feeling of a hand on his knee that brought him back to reality. It eventually found its way to his Michael's, holding the bloody, shirt-rapped hand gently. At the moment, it didn’t even matter who it was, it felt good. And it stayed like that until the safe house came into view. The moment Michael saw it he tensed up and looking away. He wanted to be anywhere except for where he was.

Ryan helped him out of the car, lifting the boy out so to avoid further injury to the battered hands. And the boys took slow steps across the parking lot, hoping that maybe they could just disappear, or wake up to find all of this was a dream. But it was no dream, and the constant pain in Michael's hand only reminded him how badly he had screwed up. 

The visit was fairly normal. Caleb and the B-team were nice, although they asked a few too many questions for his liking. But most of the visit consisted of avoided eye contact on Michael's end and a good amount of stitches to go along with the casts. Michael could already tell that these coming weeks were going to be hell. 

He could feel the boy’s nervous glances as I made me way into his room, Gavin following behind his boi. The two made a beeline for the bedroom as soon as they could. However, when Michael flopped down on the bed, hr felt a small figure cuddling up next to him. The curly-haired lad looked over his shoulder and saw Gavin, his arms wrapped around Michael.  
Michael was too tired to tell him to go away, so he let him stay and the two drifted off to sleep. 

Morning came way too quickly, and Michael was disappointing that he had lived to see another day. He thought back to yesterday, thought back to how Ray looked as the bullet hit him- blood spraying everywhere as a small smile formed on the Puerto-Rican's face.  
Michael's face was void of all emotion, and the lad planned to keep it that way.


	3. Haunted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It just felt wrong.   
> Too quiet.   
> Too still.   
> Nothing was right without Ray here.  
> Isolation really isn't the answer, but Michael's memories kept haunting him and he's not sure what to do.   
> Sometimes, when you're stuck in darkness, all you need is a friend to sit by you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I hadn't updated this fic in a while, and i figured it deserved a nice, quiet cuddle chapter to make up for all the trauma in the last two chapters.   
> I'm trying to more productive lately, and i actually feel pretty good about what I've been writing! Hope you all enjoy reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it!   
> I'll see you in the next fic!

Michael curled up on himself even more, hoping that maybe- just maybe- the couch would absorb him and he could disappear. It had been 2 days since Ray's death and the Jersey lad had been desolate and quiet the entire time. Michael didn't want to believe it, didn't want to accept it. 

Before the AH crew, it had been just him and Ray. Two friends trying to make their way in the world, two friends who got roped into this business accidentally. Michael sighed and pulled the blanket over his shoulders. Thinking about Ray wasn't helping, and for once he just wanted to turn his brain off. 

"Hey... Michael can I talk to you for a sec?" Geoff's calm voice dragged him out of thoughts, and he turned to face the older man. Michael just nodded 'yes', and moved over to make more room. 

"So... I know you don't want to talk about it, but we really have to." Geoff stated. Now that Michael was closer to him, he could see that the older man's eyes were puffy and red. Michael suddenly felt bad for isolating   
himself from his boys. 

"I'm sorry.." Michael choked out, holding back tears. He usually wasn't this emotional, but all the events happening lately had his brain spinning in circles. 

"It's okay. We all grieve differently." Geoff replied. Michael just looked away, a ball of guilt still present in his stomach. 

"It really happend, didn't it?" Michael whispered, leaning his head on Geoff's shoulder. "I've been trying to deny it, trying to tell myself that it's all a prank, and he's still alive. But-" Michael stopped himself when he felt tears rolling down his cheek. 

"Stupid emotions.." Michael mumbled as he wiped his tears away. 

"Yeah... It actually happened." Geoff said,, his voice almost a whisper. Michael curled further around him, intertwining the two. They sat like that for a while, just the two of them, on the couch in silence. 

Eventually Gav wandered in, and he wasted no time on joining the cuddle session. The tall Brit curled himself around the other side of Geoff, effectively trapping the boss in between his two lads. Geoff just smiled and held his boi's close. He was thankful for them now for than ever. 

"Hey Micool?" Michael jerked his head up at the sound of the Brit's voice. 

"Yeah..." Michael replied quietly."What is it?" 

"I love you Micool." Gav said quietly, his head now turned to face Michael's, their eyes both locked on each other. 

"I love you too, Gav." Michael replied, a bit shocked at the Brit's statement. Sure they were all dating, but the word 'love' didn't get thrown around often. 

"I'm glad i still have 4 of my boys left. It could have been much worse." Geoff stated, looking from Gav to Michael. The two lads just nodded in reply, both too tired to continue an actual conversation. The three men sat there in silence, happy that they at least had each other in hard times like this. They would all gather together on the master bed, intertwining themselves until the were all a big, tangled mess. But it made them happy, made them feel better. 

This time however, no one retracted to the bedroom. It just felt wrong to cuddle when one of them was missing. It was as if a piece of each crew member died when Ray did.


End file.
